Are people supporting you, or the sad situations that happen in your life?

Until I learned for myself that other peoples’ ‘sad stories’ don’t make mine any better or worse, I was guilty of listening and comparing, and sad to say, often feeling lucky I wasn’t as bad off. And somehow that made me feel that I was not alone in my misery.  So I would sympathize and pity my friend and jump on her bandwagon regarding how terrible the situation was; if there were people involved I was judgmental from her point of view.

On my path to being a better version of myself I learned that I was like that because I was scared, and felt like no one else was as bad off as I (I really believed that I was a not-so-good-one-of-a-kind).   By joining others in their unhappiness I felt less alone and less different.

Here’s what happened:

• I realized that I was born to be happy and joyful -not miserable.
• I experienced that another’s misery did not make me less miserable; it merely took my attention away from my own sad stories for a short while.
• I sought out objective help -i.e. people who would listen to me without being invested in anything but that I be happy.  With them I delved into my unhappy issues with  the intention of being at peace with myself.
• I realized that I was not being a true friend in the past. At that point I understood that friends (the way I wanted to be one and have them) speak  the truth as they see it through objective (as opposed to judging) eyes.
• Now when others tell their tales of woe, I say how sad I am for their situation; or, if asked, give an honest evaluation of the situation even if it’s tough for my friend to hear.  I don’t let her get by with feeling sorry for herself because I know from experience that did me no good and won’t help her either.

If this post is impactful for you let me know.