When you feel stuck, instead of trying to figure it out and get all anxious about it, try allowing yourself to just stay suck.

Be with the feelings of ‘stuck’ however they occur to you. After some time you will  move into another place.  Experiment with it, and then let me know how this works for you. 

I’m interested in learning what tips you have for getting yourself ‘unstuck’.  Please share below.



Misery Loves Company

Are people supporting you, or the sad situations that happen in your life?

Until I learned for myself that other peoples’ ‘sad stories’ don’t make mine any better or worse, I was guilty of listening and comparing, and sad to say, often feeling lucky I wasn’t as bad off. And somehow that made me feel that I was not alone in my misery.  So I would sympathize and pity my friend and jump on her bandwagon regarding how terrible the situation was; if there were people involved I was judgmental from her point of view.

On my path to being a better version of myself I learned that I was like that because I was scared, and felt like no one else was as bad off as I (I really believed that I was a not-so-good-one-of-a-kind).   By joining others in their unhappiness I felt less alone and less different.

Here’s what happened:

  • I realized that I was born to be happy and joyful -not miserable.
  • I experienced that another’s misery did not make me less miserable; it merely took my attention away from my own sad stories for a short while.
  • I sought out objective help -i.e. people who would listen to me without being invested in anything but that I be happy.  With them I delved into my unhappy issues with  the intention of being at peace with myself.
  • I realized that I was not being a true friend in the past. At that point I understood that friends (the way I wanted to be one and have them) speak  the truth as they see it through objective (as opposed to judging) eyes.
  • Now when others tell their tales of woe, I say how sad I am for their situation; or, if asked, give an honest evaluation of the situation even if it’s tough for my friend to hear.  I don’t let her get by with feeling sorry for herself because I know from experience that did me no good and won’t help her either.

If this post is impactful for you let me know.

Being Human

brenda pic for mailIt amazes me that all through time we humans continue to share similar feelings of joy and sadness.  The poem below was written in the 13th century by Persian poet Rumi.  What a blessing that  people have expressed themselves in this fashion throughout the ages so that I can continually remember I am not a ‘special case’; and what great advise delivered in so beautiful a manner.

This being human is a guest house
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond. -Rumi