I’ve always had one of the busiest minds of anyone I know. It’s one of the major reasons my life has been less than peaceful and serene. I’ve spent at least twenty years trying to find ways to quiet it down and get it to behave. I made some real headway when I read The Power of Now; and a little later on – A New Earth.
Voice Dialogue was the next aid that came my way. It’s been my go-to process-of-choice at this time of my life when I need to get some balance between parts of me that use my mind to share their opposing points of view. The more balance I achieve, the more peaceful I become. And the more I access that peacefulness, the more I want. When it came time for me to declare my personal intention for 2010, it came easily to me: ‘To Be Peaceful’.
Once I declared my intention out loud, my next step became clear. It was simply to surrender to believing that my busy mind could learn and feel safe enough to quiet down through the practice of meditation. Over the years I have taken on the practice for long periods of time. Trying to meditate would be a better way to describe what I had been doing. Though at the time I thought I was 100% committed to the practice, I now know I had been less than that. Also, I think my intentions for meditation were too lofty, and quite different from that of simply achieving peace.
I decided to enroll in a 6-week beginning mindfulness (Vipassana) meditation course. This form of meditation is appealing to me because I’m all about becoming more aware, and the goal of Mindfulness Meditation is to help the practitioner achieve greater degrees of awareness. Sounds good! Now what to do so that I get hooked this time and don’t give up??
I carefully reviewed all the stories I told myself in the past regarding why a formal mediation practice wasn’t ‘right’ for me. These stories were the results of things I read, advice I have been given, and most importantly, my past belief that ‘I’m a special case whose mind is busier than most and no one can understand why this doesn’t work for me’. Being wiser now, with the goal of achieving a peaceful state of being, and the understanding that I’m not at war with my mind, I hope to have better results.
Perhaps you’re interested in following my journey…